Maintenance Day 545: An Improvement Would Be Nice
I don’t even know where to start today. There is so much to organize and plan while things are moving a mile a minute around us.
Yesterday, Scarlett spiked a fever. All day she fluctuated between 100 and 104 degrees. She slept a lot. Because of this, she was started on two antibiotics to cover any bacteria that she may have. If she has a virus, we just have to wait it out. This morning her fever was down to 98 but this afternoon she was back up to 104. It is currently 102.8. She doesn’t feel warm but she is chilled.
Her ANC went down the past two days. While this is worrisome, her doctors are optimistic that she is making the baby cells that will develop into infection fighters. It is a slow process and, as with every past infection, is a patience testing process.
She has been getting morphine all day for the abdominal pain. It seems as though she is having a lot of cramping. She feels like she has to go potty but she can’t. Her intestines are so irritated that they are bleeding. She also seems like she wants to throw up. She carries an emesis bag with her now instead of her puke bucket.
Things seem really bad right now. I think we would feel better if we saw some sort of improvement – her fever going down, less cramping, a better mood. Any one thing would lift our spirits tremendously. Her doctors look for other signs of improvement and are seeing little bits here and there. But we need a little bit of forward progress to give us some energy.
We have to thank everyone that has given or offered help. Right now, there is nothing we really need that can’t wait. The things that we do need are things that others can’t help with. Both of our pets tested negative for cryptosporidium. It is a relief to know that they are not the cause. I feel like we say this far too often, but we cannot thank everyone enough.
Brock and I are holding up. We are tired, worried, stressed, being pulled in a hundred different directions. We feel guilty when we are not with Scarlett and guilty when we are not with Tate and Evangeline. I would give anything to be with them every minute that they need me but my job pays our bills – including Scarlett’s hospital stay. There may be moments when we make a joke but that doesn’t mean we aren’t a ball of nerves inside. There may be moments when someone asks a simple question and we completely unload every emotion we are feeling. It’s difficult to control our emotions. Hopefully tomorrow brings a further improvement to lift our spirits.