February 9, 2015

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Delayed Intensification Day 7: Six Months

Six months

Yesterday, February 8, marked six months since Scarlett’s diagnosis. I have done a lot of reflecting this past week about how much our lives have changed in such a short period of time.

There are moments that I still remember like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in her bed with her, resting my chin on her head, listening to the doctor explain everything and thinking “is it just me or are doctors getting younger?” I remember making the 3am phone calls to our families to tell them that, yes, it was confirmed, Scarlett had cancer. I remember being in that ER room, with the door closed watching all the other children walk by, trying to listen to every bit of information that the students were telling their preceptors and coming up with any other possible diagnosis in my head. I remember the car ride down to Milwaukee and trying to make Scarlett laugh when I put her slippers on, all the while scared to death on the inside. And I remember walking into my house and finding it full of people while I had to tell Brock that our daughter may have cancer. Last week, we had a phone consultation with our insurance company regarding Scarlett’s care. As I listened to Brock describe that day I literally choked on the emotion that is still so raw. I wonder if that will ever diminish.

We have met amazing people. Families that have been to hell and back. Families that have lost their children. Families that have saved us and given us hope and inspiration. We have made friends that can never be replaced because no one else understands. We have heard from friends far and old. Without these relationships we would be rather lonely on this road.

We have appreciated our family more than we can ever express. They are always there – whether we ask or not. They have listened to us cry, laugh, imagine, sob. We didn’t think we could love them more but we do.

We have discovered how strong we are as a couple and a family. Brock and I have been through a lot but this has brought closer together than we ever imagined. Situations like this either bind you tighter or break you. I am so thankful to have the love of my life to navigate this journey with.

We have discovered that we have a purpose in life. It is our life’s journey to pay it forward. We will never stop giving, encouraging, and inspiring. We will never stop demanding research and a cure. We will never stop helping other families find resources and faith. We will never stop helping kids get through one more day. We will never stop remembering the children who have touched our lives and pulled at our heartstrings. Scarlett has taught us that we can never stop.

Six months. It’s so short a time and yet, it seems so long. Six months is 1/5 of Scarlett’s life. We barely got to meet her before we got to see how truly amazing she is. Six months passes in the blink of an eye. But you can learn so much in that blink.

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